Lazy Sands in the Flowerless Land
by Sillyfaic
Summary: A mysterious magenta wind is plaguing Appleloosa, drowning the town in unearthly calm! On top of that, there's talk of legendary treasure beyond the frontier! Twilight and her friends set their sights on a land beyond Equestria, to resolve this incident.
1. Prologue

Throughout the winter and late into the spring months, frequent tides of dust swamped the frontier village of Appleloosa. As summer approached, the sun grew brighter and warmer each day. Braeburn coughed out some afternoon dust clinging to the roof of his mouth. He shook his head, sweeping his blond mane across the humid air as he ambled through the town.

"Ehh...this heat! Ya think ah'd be used to it by now!" he snickered as droplets of sweat made their way down his brow. "...Who'm ah' tryin' ta' kid? Everypony knows that's jus' the way it goes round' here, right?" The plentiful Appleloosans working outside looked to him. Braeburn hadn't realized he had been shouting, but the happy settlers around him resounded with a hearty cheer regardless. Looking around to be met with smiling faces, all amidst new buildings popping up everywhere, Braeburn couldn't help but smile. Looking up, the cloudless day seemed like a good one for progress.

Grinning, Braeburn galloped through town, occasionally rearing up and greeting random ponies with his usual vigor. Everypony knew Braeburn, though, and responded in kind. He felt his vest scratch his lower jaw as he ran further, eying the newer, towering wood buildings like a child ogling a cool toy.

On the weathered porch of a shoddy, boarded-up house, an old codger dressed in overalls retched. He swished something around in his dry mouth before hawking a big glob of mucus into a spittoon at his hooves. Hearing the distinctive clang, Braeburn turned. The elder pony wiped his jaw and cleared his throat.

"Shee-yoot, Braeburn. Where d'you young'uns git all yer hustle from?" the old pony said against the protest of his cracking bones. Braeburn guffawed.

"Haw! Ah' think ya jus' answered yer own question, gramps!" Braeburn said, rearing up. The old pony hacked and coughed, propping his creaky front legs against the equally creaky railing of his front porch. Braeburn got back on all fours, wondering with some concern if the geezer's legs would give way before the rail.

"Idn't that jus' like'a young'un, ta' give half-flanked answers like that?" the old pony wheezed. "Why dontcha' be straight up with me, Braeburn?"

"Fine, fine! Erm..." Braeburn's eyes went blank. He looked around the town, which had only gotten more complex since last winter. He grinned, turning back to the pony. "Ah' guess...guess it's 'cause whenever a new buildin' shoots up 'round here, if feels like we went an' added a new settler! It jus' makes me giddy inside, knowin' that Appleloosa's getting' bigger an' bigger, y'know?" The old pony shot a bitter wad into his spittoon. He shook his gnarled, ancient hoof at Braeburn.

"Ehhhh, expansionism! Done drove my pappy outta business years ago! An' now," the elderly pony reached behind him, pulling out a tumbleweed and lobbing it at Braeburn's head. It flopped uselessly, not flying a single inch. He sobbed. "Ah've gone an' stuck myself in the same rut he went an' stuck himself in! My own fault, takin' up the family business...thinkin' ah' could go an' do somethin'..."

"Dontcha' be talkin' sour!" Braeburn said, going over to the tumbleweed. He nudged it with his snout, sending it bouncing into the wind. "Yer tumbleweeds add jus' the right touch ta' Appleloosa! Why, if you weren't here-"

"An' that's what's gonna take out the lil' 'rustic charm' everypony's gone an' drooled over out here!" the old pony said hatefully, ignoring Braeburn's kindness. He reached out and poked Braeburn in the snout, a surprising feat for his age. "Ya mark my words, colt. Ya mark em' right here! This town goes an' finishes that newfangled railroad, things is gonna-"

"That's right! Construction's beginnin' today!" Braeburn said. Startled at the old pony's words, he broke into a run. "Thank ya kindly fer remindin' me, pops!" Turning a corner and heading for Appleloosa Station, Braeburn missed the last bit of the stallion's rantings.

"Railroad's gonna be the end a' the town! Equestria Expansion Project...heh! My bony, crusty flank!"

* * *

><p>Braeburn kicked up quite the dust cloud in his haste, panting to himself as he passed more Appleloosans by. In his hurry, he only managed to give them friendly winks. He didn't take notice to several ponies merely yawning big in response. Others ignored him outright, rubbing their eyes and dropping to their sides.<p>

"Heh, heh...hope ah'm...not late!" Braeburn said. However, his big, eager grin slowly ebbed as he approached the station. His heart and pulse had been racing, but they gradually went back to normal as the chipper, dust-swept stallion ground to a disappointed halt.

The train station was in clear view, spread out wide and waiting. Numerous flat cars lugged by a great steam engine, and loaded with metal girders, had pulled in next to the platform. Braeburn saw even more filing in the closer he got to the station. Still he bit his lip, puzzled. The enormous order of building materials had been delivered right on schedule as he looked to the looming clock tower. But looking up to the platform, he saw just a single fat, brown earth pony stallion in a hard hat.

"So uh...everypony _else's_ late today, huh?" Braeburn said. The fat stallion slouched on his side, nodding glumly. Braeburn took the response for laziness, frowning and stomping the parched earth. "Hey, you! Where's everypony else?" The big stallion on the platform stretched out, working hard to open one irritated eye.

"...Name's not 'you.' It's Rafter," the pony said. His voice was deep, like rumbling boulders. Braeburn huffed, shaking out his mane.

"All right, _Rafter._ Now why dontcha' tell me why nopony went an' showed?" Braeburn scowled, looking to his sides. Nopony in sight, although he did see a number of misty figures on the ground, shrouded in dust. Swallowing, he looked back to Rafter. "...There was supposed ta' be a crew'a thirty-five today!" Rafter scratched his broad nose, jerking awake.

"...Huh? Aww, yeah. They uhh...they're not comin' today," Rafter said, turning over onto his belly. Braeburn choked, bug-eyed at the prospect.

"Wh-what? What in tarnation? Those lazy bums! What're they thinkin'?" Braeburn yelped, his voice hoarse with wandering dust and anger. Rafter just grunted, waving his hoof in the air.

"Heeey! Them's not...uhh...not very nice words...! They ain't lazy...umm...they're just...uhhhhhhh...sleepy," Rafter said sluggishly. Honestly, Braeburn could've done a few laps around town by the time Rafter finished his sentence. Noticing the hulking brown stallion had begun to snore, Braeburn kicked a metal beam hard. The bell-like dinging forced Rafter awake. He shifted and glared at Braeburn. "...What's the big idea?"

"Figure ah' should be askin' _you_ that!" Braeburn said. Rafter scoffed. "Why're you and the workers bein' like this? Yer bein' _paid_ ta' work on the Equestria Expansion Project! Remember?" Rafter blinked slowly.

"...Naw."

"Aw jeez! Knew contractin' city folk was a bad idea!" Braeburn said, itching his snout. The near-constant wind blowing through Appleloosa felt suddenly cooling. "B-but still! If'n you've got a contract, that means ya need ta' do yer job!"

"An' I s'pose you're lookin' to help too," Rafter said, shaking his head. A small grin appeared on his face as he looked Braeburn up and down, sizing him up. He laughed, his belly bobbing. "Ha! What's a lil' twig like _you _gonna do for the railroad, anyways? Why dontcha' just sit back, keep the yokels in line, and let the real stallions work at our own pace?"

"Ah' ain't no twig! An' Appleloosans ain't _yokels,_" Braeburn said, his words blistering. Rafter looked undaunted as he flipped over onto his back, basking and putting his front legs behind his head. Braeburn sighed. "...Look. There's gonna be plenty a' townsfolk helpin' out with this here project, so why don't we jus' forget this lil' spat and move along? I'll go gather up the workers and get em' offa' their hind quarters! If we're gonna get this railroad extended by the enda' summer, we gotta get started...right..." Braeburn heard his speech cut off by a long yawn, coming from his own slacking mouth. He shook his head, bewildered. All of a sudden, his eyes had become heavy.

"Heh! Only thing _you'd_ better get started on is a nap!" Rafter said, turning away from Braeburn. He had been surveying the expanse of Appleloosa mere moments earlier. "See, them's got the right idea! All a' them ponies right there!"

Braeburn shuffled around and gasped, jumping in horror. The once-bustling townsponies of Appleloosa had fallen into a slump. Some hung off their porches, while others were sprawled out on the street, curling up in the rolling dust. Braeburn staggered away from the transport cars, his movement getting progressively sloppier.

"Wh-what...what's goin' on...?" Braeburn said haltingly. Another yawn escaped him as he trudged over to the lounging pony nearest him. Reaching out, Braeburn bopped the giggling and squirming Appleloosan on the head. He didn't react to Braeburn, relaxed beyond the point of retorting. "...Wake up you...! Hey! Talk ta' me!"

"Sheesh Brae'...why ya gotta be so..._ornery_...?" the pony finally moaned after a long pause. "It's so nice out...you really should calm down..."

"He's always like this..." a lazing mare in a bonnet said from nearby. Her words were slurred. "Always rushin' everywhere...always rearin' up! You know that..."

"Oh yeah...heh...I _do_ know that..."

"D'ya...d'ya know what's goin' on...?" Braeburn said, fighting back a fit of yawns. He was having difficulty standing upon his wobbly legs, and found his own sense of urgency depleting as the wind grew calmer. "Nopony's...everypony's all...ugh..."

"See...? Idn't that nice...?" the mare in the bonnet cooed, flopping onto her back. Braeburn soon found himself on the mare's level, the sun beating into his eyes. The arid wind still blew lots of loose soil around, but a mysterious, soothing warmth replaced the typical sweltering heat. Braeburn spotted a magenta tinge amidst the swirling yellow and brown, as well as something else.

"...Flowers...?" Braeburn said, his voice very stilted. A tiny, spade shaped petal waltzed in the wind above him, settling upon his snout. "...Since when've we had any flowers...out'n these parts...?" Noticing more blossoms dance into view overhead, Braeburn smiled wearily. Resigning to the tranquil atmosphere, he stretched out and moaned. Without warning or feeling, his suspicions, troubles, and energy left him. "...Eh...who cares...? Not like...it really matters right now..."


	2. Chapter 1

The burly stallions heaving the line of passenger cars stood still. Steam poured from the locomotive's smokestack and a female voice rang out over the intercom.

"This train is bound for Appleloosa!" she said. "I repeat, this last, free train is bound for Appleloosa! Free rides only for today! Passengers, you may enter now." With that, the rust-colored doors of the train cars swung open, just as they had done earlier to let the paltry, earlier passengers depart. Now the awaiting ponies decked out in western style hats, dresses and vests boarded the train. Not a single one looked jovial. The recent influx of ponies from Appleloosa were heading home, so as to investigate the strange letters they had been getting. Applejack was no exception. That letter Braeburn had sent her was nothing short of disturbing. Clutching it in the crook of her front leg, she glanced down, silently reading it.

"'Cousin Applejack,'" it said in messy black ink. "'I don't know what's going on, but there's trouble brewing in Appleloosa. Everypony's started to slack, myself included. Don't know why. I was barely able to drag myself out of bed this morning. It was even harder to write you this. Please come to Appleloosa right away. I need to talk to you, pony to pony. Hope I'll still be able to. Braeburn.'" The 'n' in Braeburn's name had trailed off to the bottom of the paper, as though he had fallen asleep writing it. Or worse, Applejack inevitably thought.

"Danggit, Braeburn. Goin' and makin' me worry like that..." was all Applejack could say as she approached the train doors. Just before stepping into the car, she heard a whistle from up above. The train had whistled earlier, yes, but this undoubtedly came from a pony. Turning, Applejack saw Rainbow Dash against the gray sky. She waved, and Applejack returned the greeting with some hesitation. "Rainbow? Dontcha' got work to do?" Applejack looked past her to the sheet of clouds overhead. Dash followed her sight and dropped a little.

"U-umm...don't worry about that! So, hey! Whatcha' up to?" Dash asked, touching down. Her hooves made a hollow thud on the wooden platform. She frowned from the lack of a response, although she noticed the paper wedged between Applejack's bent leg. "What's that you got there?" Applejack stammered.

"N-nothin'...u-umm! J-jus' paper! Fer...uhh...writin'?" Dash frowned bigger, angling her head to get a closer look at the paper. Applejack jerked it away.

"Ya don't write with paper, Applejack."

"N-no! Ah' mean uhh...ta' write...on?"

"There's already writing on it..." Rainbow Dash said, looking further. The train whistled impatiently, seeming to nag Applejack and Dash for being late. Applejack caved.

"A-all right, all right! Thing is, Braeburn's real worried 'bout somethin' happenin' over at Appleloosa. That's where ah'm headed for-"

"Oh cool! Appleloosa, huh? Say, uh...mind if I come with?" Dash said, concealing her nervousness with a toothy grin. Applejack raised an eyebrow.

"Well it _is_ free today on account of all the settlers returnin' home. But, wait," Applejack said, again turning her gaze to the afternoon overcast. "Yer in charge'a the weather clearin', right? Ya can't jus' skip work like that..." Dash rubbed her front legs together, laughing squeakily.

"Eh, heh, heh...umm, I already got my section cleared up! Yeah, see?" Dash grabbed Applejack's neck, forcibly moving her head in the direction of a hole in the sky. Serene, crisp blue seeped through. It was quite the abnormality. "Taken care of! I'm done for the day, and the rest of the week, actually!" Applejack threw Dash's legs off her neck.

"Right..." she said, her voice trailing off. Dash smiled bigger and trotted towards the train car, only to be barred by a sideways Applejack. "But on top'a that, ah'm gonna be in Appleloosa a while! Yer jus' gonna leave yer house alone?" Dash broke into a sweat.

"N-no worries! No worries! I've got a _great_ house-sitter!" That last bit sounded akin to scraping iron. Dash gritted her teeth. "A great, _great_ house-sitter! So great, in fact, __she won't leave me alone!__" Dash looked around the platform with shifty eyes. They soon leapt to a line of potted shrubs place a few feet away. A trio of black spines jutted out from one of the shrubs, spinning and pinging like sonar. At the base of the spines were several blue beads. Dash gasped before yelling at the shrub. "You! Get outta here! G-get back to my house! You said you'd watch it!"

"Eh-heh-heh.." A sleazy, almost greasy female voice chortled from within the shrub. The spines dove into the green, out of sight. Turning back to Applejack, Dash saw the incredulous look on her face and gulped.

"...That thief? __Pilfer's__ watchin' yer house?" Applejack nearly screeched at Dash. The train whistle blew again, and the female voice called.

"All passengers, please board the train! That means you, pegasus and earth pony!" Applejack groaned, ignoring Dash's whimpering laughter.

"I'm sorry...I just had to get away from her," Dash half-sobbed. "She won't go away! She's mooching off me! She pops out of weird places! I. Need. A. __Break.__" Applejack paused, noticing that Rainbow's rosy eyes were actually watering. She sighed.

"...Guess if ya wanna keep thieves away, use another thief?" Applejack said, trying to sound wise. Dash perked up as Applejack beckoned to her, heading inside the train car. "Come on. Ya can tell me more on the ride there..." Dash nearly squealed in delight.

"A-and you too! 'Bout Braeburn and stuff!" Dash said, turning away. Elated, she shouted into the sky. "So long you lousy thief! Wherever you are, I'm outta here!" With those words, Dash bolted after Applejack, the train doors shutting behind her. A tall, milky white pony standing on the platform smirked as the train blew out more steam. She had stolen everypony's ability to detect her, so she just waved goodbye.

"So long, bad host!" Pilfer said cheerily as the stallions hauling the train snorted in effort, quickly making their way along the tracks. She tapped a hoof to her chin, her smile unchanging. "Lessee...where to next...?"

* * *

><p>Twilight frowned at the sky. She had expected summer to be much more enjoyable, but no. The clouds and the gloom had persisted for weeks, and they did absolutely nothing to block the humidity. The day was a wonderful one for sleeping in. Twilight fought the temptation to do so as she fiddled with her tree's leaves and peered lazily out the window.<p>

It had grown slightly, that odd little tree. The leaves were flourishing, shining bright green even though there was no sun to speak of. Twisting weirdly, Twilight remembered that cold winter's night where they had almost crumbled into black piles of sludge. She kept the tree thriving ever since through the strangest diet of sunlight, water, and stories. A few days passed where she or Spike forgot to water it or put it near the window, but not once did Twilight neglect to read it a bedtime story. As a result, it hadn't wilted a bit.

Perhaps that's why princess Celestia ended up giving it to Twilight as a gift when the time came to return it. Yet, the princess never mentioned why she sent it in the first place. Twilight had most definitely asked, multiple times, even. Doing so always resulted in the princess hurriedly changing the subject.

"Wonder how big it's gonna get...?" Twilight sighed, bored out of her mind. She tapped the windowsill with her hooves. "Spike...what should I do today...?"

"Dump some ice cubes down your throat?" Spike said from the bed. Twilight turned to face him, and saw that he was fanning himself furiously. Sweat trickled off his glistening purple scales. "Or better yet, mine? Y'know, they say clouds make the summer _hotter._ How's that work?"

"Don't know. Maybe I should read up on it..." Twilight said, pressing her head against the window glass. It was cooling for a brief moment, but her cheek quickly warmed things up. Suddenly, she heard a knock from downstairs. Shaking her head, she bungled out of the loft, dizzy from the heat. How she hadn't noticed a visitor from her window was a mystery, but she hurried to the door all the same. She magically opened it, and saw Rarity grinning broadly. "Hi there, Rarity! What're you up to?"

Twilight ushered Rarity in, with her nodding all the way and clutching something between her teeth. Twilight closed the door and eyed Rarity more closely, noticing a scroll in her mouth. Gulping, Twilight was already getting mental pictures of the rest of her friends rushing in with scrolls. "Wh-what's...that?" she asked as Rarity spat the scroll out, still grinning. Twilight craned her head, but Rarity cleared her throat before questions could be posed.

"Now, now, my dearest Twilight! Allow me to explain," Rarity magically unfurled the scroll, revealing, not a message, but a gold-leafed picture of three ponies arched over a heaping sack of loot. The words, "Come One, Come All, To Appleloosa!" were plastered in gold. Rarity cleared her throat again. "This, my very best friend in all of Equestria, is an invitation to the Great Appleloosan Gold Rush tomorrow! It's quite the event, you see. A part of the Equestria Expansion Project?"

"Oh yeah!" Twilight said, a light bulb flicking on in her brain. "Princess Celestia told me all about that last Flanksgiving! Said it was really going to be picking up this summer!"

"What's this about expanding?" Spike said drowsily, tumbling down the stairs. He straightened up the instant he noticed Rarity, though. He kicked at the ground, hands behind his back. "Uhh...umm...R-rarity!" Spike said, shaking his scales out and drenching the floor below in sweat. "S-sorry you have to see me so...u-unkempt..."

"Not at all, Spike! You aren't in the slightest!" Rarity said. She hadn't taken her eyes off the glittering picture to actually look at him, however. "Hot summer days happen to us all, you know!" She looked up at the sweaty dragon and paused, drawling. "...But, might I suggest a quick bath?"

"A b-bath...? S-sure...!" Spike said, his eyes darting to everything but Rarity. He swallowed hard. "U-um...I'll just be doing that in the bathroom, yeah! Y-y'know, where ya take baths..." He backed away, scratching his head and panting. He caught a glimpse of Rarity's quizzical expression, and immediately wished he hadn't. "I-if you need me...d-don't bother knockin'! You can just uhh...c-come right in! ...Heh...'kay, bye!" Spike sped off, leaving a trail of sweat and awkwardness. Twilight blinked twice, turning back to Rarity and her open scroll. She looked perplexed, trying to piece together what had just happened.

"Yeah, hot summer days happen all right," Twilight said. She indicated the scroll. "But what's this, 'Great Appleloosan Gold Rush' all about?"

"Oh, yes! Forgot to elaborate," Rarity said, giggling. "It's the first annual event for explorers and treasure hunters alike. As a member of the Ponyville Glitter Guild, well, naturally __I'd__get an invitation!"

"But what's it about? I mean, what do you _do_, exactly?" Twilight asked. Rarity sighed.

"I thought you said you knew about the Equestria Expansion Project?" Twilight rolled her eyes, but Rarity didn't seem to notice. "Anyway, it's an expedition to an untouched desert land to the west of Appleloosa!" Rarity said. Her eyes lit up. "They say, and by 'they' I mean the top prospectors in Appleloosa, that there's a legendary treasure from ages past, buried beneath the sands! Obscured by time! Riches beyond belief! Oh-ho!"

"Sounds pretty interesting! So it's a big treasure hunt?" Twilight said. Rarity nodded happily. "I guess that _would _be a good way to get everypony to extend Equestria's borders!"

"And that's not even the best part!" Rarity declared, pointing to Twilight. "According to my invitation, I get to bring along a friend of mine to accompany me, and-"

"You're bringing me?" Spike called from the bathroom. A loud clatter sounded from his direction. Rarity tapped her hooves together, looking around anxiously.

"I-if I could invite _two_ friends, most definitely, Spike!" Rarity called. There was total silence before a dejected scrubbing noise resumed in the bathroom. Rarity set her hoof down, looking to Twilight and rolling the scroll up. "I haven't a clue as to Applejack's whereabouts, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are working today, and Fluttershy, well..._she_ isn't exactly the adventurous type, is she? Or at least, that was her excuse! So that leaves you, Twilight..." Rarity said with great anticipation, smiling hopefully. "What do you say? Come to Appleloosa with me...?" Twilight nodded her head fondly.

"Sure! I've been _totally_ bored lately! And finding the origins of legendary treasure? Sounds like scholarly work to me...!" Twilight gushed. She thought to herself, though. Her eyes suddenly grew. "Wait...Appleloosa in summertime? That's gonna be sweltering! And it takes place in a__desert___,_ of all places? You sure we're cut out for this?" Rarity laughed daintily.

"_Nothing_, not rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor heat will keep __me__ from pursuing all that glitters, Twilight," Rarity said. She jabbed Twilight playfully in the chest, levitating the compacted scroll. "And you really ought to have more faith in your abilities! A little exercise would be good for you, and it does _wonders_ for the complexion!"

"Well...all right! If you say so," Twilight said, her skepticism dashed. She turned, eagerly heading for her loft. "Just let me pack my-"

"No need!" Rarity chimed. "We'll swing by the boutique and pick up my luggage there! I've packed for you!"

"You...packed my things for me? How?" Twilight said. Rarity shook out her mane, swooning.

"Oh, silly, _silly _Twilight!" Rarity said, just laughing to herself as she trotted out the door. Twilight, still wondering at Rarity's initiative, headed for the bathroom door. She swore she heard faint sobbing inside.

"Spike...?" She said. He didn't answer. "Umm...I'm going to Appleloosa with Rarity for a few days. Could you watch the library for me? Make sure the tree's read to, and all that?"

"What? Appleloosa for a few days?" Spike groaned. "Watching the library, all by myself? What a chore, droppin' this on me at the last-"

"Oh Spiiiike?" Rarity called over her shoulder. Her voice was sickeningly sweet. "Twilight's headed to Appleloosa with me for a few days. Could you watch the library for her?" Spike grunted.

"B-b-but of course...!" Spike stammered back. The door to the bathroom jiggled on its hinges.

"Excellent! You're such a dear!" Rarity said before whistling to Twilight. "Come along now! The trains are all free today! The last one should be leaving shortly! Let's get a move on!" She did so, not taking notice of the shuddering bathroom door.

"Oohh...! She...she called me 'a dear'..." Spike said, his heart fluttering around in his chest. "This...th-this was a good day..."

* * *

><p>Pinkie Pie held a bright pink crayon in her mouth, jabbing at a big, fluffy pillow. She stabbed, slashed, and swung the crayon around like a mad pony. After a few seconds of fencing with the pillow, she spat the crayon out and grabbed some tape and a broom. Several moments of stitching and stretching later, she propped up her creation, proud of her work.<p>

"Yesss...yes, this should do just nicely!" she cackled, elbowing Gummy. "It's...ALIVE! Well, kinda. As alive as it needs to be, anyways." In front of her stood a simple pillow attached to a broom, scotch taped to the top of the handle. A crude smiley face adorned the pillow, with tufts of pink, curly mane taped on at odd ends. Pinkie snatched up the broom in her mouth, confident as could be. Gummy blinked slowly. "Now be good, Gummy!" Pinkie said, her voice distorted as she headed downstairs. "Mommy'sh gonna go play wisch Fluttershy for a while!"

On the bottom floor of Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie looked sneakily around. Nopony in sight. The shop had been so slow that day. Nopony wanted to come out in the heat, Pinkie figured. Still, if the Cakes caught her slacking off, she'd be in for quite the lecture. Pattering about on the tips of her hooves, Pinkie snooped behind the counter and placed her copy against the glass. It fell over immediately. Ticked, she nudged it back up, propping it against the counter at a different angle. She flung out her hooves. "Stay!" she commanded. Her shoddy imitation did. Smiling, she reached out a hoof. "Good boy!" Upon petting the pillow, the dummy fell over again. Pinkie stared. "...At least you're house-trained...or at least, you'd __better__ be!

Pinkie Pie went out of her way to sneak over to Fluttershy's house. It was as though she expected one of her employers to leap out from behind a bush at any moment. She ended up attracting plenty of wandering eyes, what with her diving into trash cans or hiding in random gutters.

Finally arriving at Fluttershy's house, Pinkie shook some banana peels and discarded coffee filters out of her fur. As she knocked on the door, she heard Fluttershy's animals reacts with squawks and squeaks. The door soon opened, though, with Fluttershy standing in the frame. She had been smiling, but quickly covered her nose. Pinkie Pie waved.

"Hi!"

"H-hello Pinkie...u-umm...do you need a shower...?" Fluttershy asked, trying not to sound rude. Cordiality was tossed to the side, though, as she got another good whiff of rotting garbage. Pinkie looked at the hacking and coughing Fluttershy in confusion.

"No, silly! The pegasi just made one earlier today!" Pinkie said, shaking her hoof at the still very cloudy sky. She whistled. "Whoo! And it looks we're due for another one!"

"Umm, I meant like-"

"So, cuttin' right to the chase, I'm real bored!" Pinkie Pie said, hopping around and spreading her nasty scent. Fluttershy teetered, her eyes whirling. "Wanna go do somethin'?" Fluttershy wheezed, but nodded, attempting to smile. This ended up filling her mouth with Pinkie's pungent smell.

"That...that sounds lovely, Pinkie," Fluttershy said, choking. She wafted the vile air away from her snout and pointed to the living room, trying to direct Pinkie inside. "But you really should get cleaned up first. Why _do _you smell so bad, anyway?"

"That?" Pinkie said, landing with a big thud. It was so big it actually shook Fluttershy's cottage. The animals inside raised a ruckus, drawing Fluttershy's attention. "Ah, I was hidin'! In trash cans! I couldn't find any cardboard boxes or disguises lying around, so I just improvised!"

"Improvised...? What...?" Fluttershy said, bemused. "And you were hiding? From what? Who?"

"Uhh...you can't tell anypony, but," Pinkie Pie said, getting close to Fluttershy and nearly knocking her out with her overwhelming garbage scent. "I'm _supposed_ to be working today. But thing is...it's really, _really_ boring! So I sneaked off, my decoy placed, my identity concealed! Hidden, like a thief in the night!"

"Did somepony say thief?" Pilfer sneered as she blinked into view directly between Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. The two were so close that she was actually sandwiched between them. She winked at Fluttershy. "How ya doin', sweetie?" Squealing, Fluttershy slammed her door shut in the thief's face. Pinkie tapped on the windows, forlorn.

"Heeey, Fluttershy! Come out! We've got a play date!" Pinkie Pie said. She mumbled, glaring at Pilfer. "Thanks a lot, you!"

"G-g-go away!" Fluttershy whimpered, her door trembling with her movements. Pinkie Pie and Pilfer frowned simultaneously. Fluttershy's voice came again. "The creepy thief! Not you, Pinkie..." Pilfer growled at Pinkie's cheers of triumph.

"I am not __creepy___,_" Pilfer scowled. Pinkie laughed loudly.

"Oh yeah you are! Popping outta nowhere? Yeah, that's classic haunted house stuff y'know!" Pinkie Pie said. Pilfer giggled sardonically.

"You're just jealous because _I'm_ better at sneaking around than you are," she said. "Hiding in trashcans? What garbage!" Pilfer waved her hoof, stealing Fluttershy's door. She had been squished up against the wooden frame, ready to amble back out as soon as Pilfer left. However, without her door, Fluttershy fell over backwards onto her welcome mat. She squeaked, shaking and covering her face.

"What...wh-what do you want...?" she said, cowering. Pilfer's near-perpetual smirk grew wider.

"We'd be here forever if I told you that," she said. She offered Fluttershy a hoof, but was refused as Fluttershy squirmed away into her empty door frame. She sat up, looking to Pinkie Pie for support. Pinkie was skipping on the pathway up to Fluttershy's house, nipping at a passing butterfly. "Nope! I was just following that one around," Pilfer gestured back to Pinkie Pie, who landed on her belly, unable to catch her target. "I thought it'd be fun. It kinda was..."

"Oh, oh! Did somepony say fun? 'Cause I could sure use some fun!" Pinkie Pie said, springing over to Pilfer and Fluttershy. Pilfer gagged.

"Jeez, you reek! I never even realized...! Ah...I can help ya with that," Pilfer said, plugging her nose and stealing Pinkie's stench, kicking it down a hill the instant it manifested next to her. The gassy, greenish-brown blob emitted constant flatulence as it rolled. Pilfer and Fluttershy sniffed the air. It was now quite fresh, if still very hot. "There. Now at least I can stand you."

"Huh, funny. Isn't it usually everypony else who has to stand __you___?_" Pinkie said. She stuck her pits up to her snout, inhaling deeply and sighing. "Aww...lemony! Hate lemons! Too sour, no sweet!"

"Say what now?" Pilfer said, her face drooping.

"Nothin'! Anyways, what brings ya here, Pilf?" Pinkie Pie said. Pilfer's eyes grew wide as she gasped for air. Her pale face flushed scarlet. Pinkie Pie tilted her head. "What?"

"What'd...what'd you just call me?" Pilfer said, her speech garbled. Pinkie giggled.

"Just thought I'd give ya a little nickname there, Pilf!" Pilfer shuddered, breathing deeply.

"Don't...call me that," she said, smiling a big, saccharine smile. Fluttershy got her meaning and blushed a little too.

"Why? What's wrong?" Pinkie said. Pilfer stammered, but Fluttershy spoke up in her place. She rose, stepping outside.

"Pinkie, it's just-"

"Ah-HAH! Finally! I found your weak point!" Pinkie declared, pointing a hoof at Pilfer, who looked around nervously. "Embarrassing pet name? I shoulda' known! Take this! Pilf, Pilf, Pil-" Pilfer jammed a hoof into Pinkie's mouth, producing a wet splat.

"Please! Don't," Pilfer said, chuckling awkwardly and looking to the sky. " I can't _really_ explain why here. Not fully, anyway. This story's only rated T."

"So?" Pinkie said, muffled through Pilfer's hoof. Sighing, the thief withdrew it, shaking off some spit. "It can't be _that_ bad can it? If it's language, T covers that, right?"

"Wait, you __do__ know? Ah, so you were just playing dumb! You little-" Pilfer didn't get to finish as Fluttershy began to beg for an explanation, stomping about.

"Wh-what are you both...? U-umm..." she said. "What's this, 'T' you're talking about? I'm...I'm really confused."

"Look, let's stop. This isn't really moving the plot along," Pilfer said to Pinkie, who nodded reluctantly. A muggy wind blew through the trees and grasses, unfortunately not carrying the uncomfortable silence away. Fluttershy coughed.

"...So, what were you planning to do today, Pinkie?" she asked. Pinkie shrugged.

"I dunno. Something fun?" Pilfer chuckled at this, holding up a hoof. The strings of blue beads swung from her legs.

"May I make a suggestion?" she said. Both Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy turned to her. Pinkie Pie looked willing, but Fluttershy was inching for her cottage. "I hear Appleloosa's a lovely place to visit right now! Oh, and I was poking around earlier. Appledash, oops! I mean, Apple__jack__ and Rainbow Dash were looking to board a train there. If you girls hurry-"

"Awesome!" Pinkie Pie cheered, jumping into the air. She pulled on Fluttershy's front legs, dragging her down the dirt path to Ponyville. "Yeah, yeah! We had some good times down in Appleloosa, didn't we? Let's go there!"

"Wh-what? But it's an awfully long way, Pinkie Pie," Fluttershy said, struggling. Pinkie Pie was surprisingly strong, though, and far beyond Fluttershy's ability to escape from. She watched her house get further and further away. "Shouldn't we plan first...?"

"You heard Pilf!" Pinkie Pie said. Pilfer winced. "Train's leaving! We gotta go now!" Pilfer nodded, watching the tangled duo head for Ponyville. Pinkie Pie shouted back to her, her tone as carefree and joyful as ever. "Oh, and if you steal anything from Fluttershy's house, I'll destroy you!"

"Right! Toodles! Now, what to do..." Pilfer said, turning back to Fluttershy's cottage, not caring if anypony saw her. She snickered evilly. "And more importantly, what to loot..."

* * *

><p>Twilight and Rarity were faced with an angry crowd of ponies upon reaching the train station. Judging from their attire, the mob was composed mainly of Appleloosans. They shouted and snapped at the ticket booth ponies, who fought to keep order. The atmosphere was rife with unease as ponies yelled and tumbled against one another, their rage exacerbated by the heat. Rarity and Twilight slipped away, disoriented by the chaos.<p>

"Last train already left...?" Twilight mumbled, her vision blurry. Rarity reached into a pack on her back, magically pulling out a folded schedule. She scanned it several times.

"No...no, it shouldn't be," she glanced at the clock just above the ticket booths. The hands pointed to two o'clock, exactly. She scuffed the ground. "There should be another train returning right about now, but-"

"Attention all passengers! Due to unforeseen constraints-"

"You got any relatives over in Appleloosa?" a stallion roared. "Long as a train can go, it should go!" A mare at a ticket booth sighed, unflinching.

"It's unsafe for the crew. You see, the train set to arrive has endured so many trips recently that-"

"My pa's not well!" A filly cried from somewhere within the crowd. "He's...he's gonna...I gotta...!"

"I'm sorry. The first train for tomorrow will be departing three hours early in compensation! Please return promptly at eight o'clock tomorrow morning! Your tickets will remain valid! We apologize for the inconvenience..."

"Inconvenience...? Ha! We'll see how inconvenient it is when...when...!" Murderous grumbles like that started out strong, but dissipated as the crowd of Appleloosans sulked away, growing more worried than angry. Twilight and Rarity stood in shock. The ticketing mares up front looked to each other, shaking their heads grimly as they watched the ponies go.

"E-excuse me," Rarity said courteously, approaching the booths. Her voice was lowered to a degree that would make Fluttershy proud. "But-"

"Did you not hear us? No more rides today!" A silver-coated ticketing mare lashed out, her patience tried. The employee next to her grabbed her shoulder, calming her. She shook her head. "...I'm sorry. That was out of order."

"Don't worry about it," Twilight said, joining Rarity. "But, what was that commotion about?"

"Locomotion commotion?" Pinkie Pie said, holding a protesting Fluttershy by some loose skin on her neck.

"Pinkie...I-I really shouldn't..." Fluttershy tried to say, still pulling in the opposite direction. "I need to makes sure my animals are-"

"Hi guys! We're not too late for the next train are we?" Upon spying Rarity and Twilight, Pinkie Pie released her grip on Fluttershy and trotted happily to the booths.

"What are you two doing here?" Fluttershy asked. Rarity cleared her throat, ruffling the pink frilly bags on her back.

"We _were_ here to travel to Appleloosa, but it seems as though the next ride has been delayed," Rarity explained. She raised an eyebrow, staring at Pinkie. "But...why are you here?" Pinkie Pie looked crestfallen.

"Y'know...just lookin' for some fun," she said, tapping the ground. "Why's the train not coming?"

"Don't know," Twilight said, looking back to the line of booths. The mares had been dusting off their dark blue uniforms and shaking out their tall, rectangular hats, which were sopped with sweat. "But you all do, right?"

"It's quite simple really," a frizzy haired, orange mare said, donning her hat. "A surge of Appleloosans staying in Ponyville recently received letters from home. From relatives, acquaintances, you name it. You see, some kind of...plague has swept over the town." Everypony gasped.

"A...plague?" Fluttershy said. The ticketing mare nodded her head solemnly.

"Nopony knows what else to call it. The town has been plunged into fatigue, or intense apathy of some sort," the orange mare said with uncertainty. "As a result, Appleloosan tourists, in addition to the normal travelers, have been overloading the trains."

"Does princess Celestia know about all this?" Twilight asked. She was met with another nod and a somewhat happy face.

"Of course. Letters reached her too, and she decreed that all train rides be free of charge for a while," the orange mare said. "As to how investigations on this matter are proceeding, well...I'm just in charge of taking tickets. I'm sorry, but that's all there is to it, really. Did you have relatives in-"

"What a travesty!" Rarity bellowed, clapping a hoof to her mouth. "What of the treasure? What of the exploration? With this..._apathy_ setting upon Appleloosa, surely the Gold Rush will be canceled!"

"So _that's_ why Applejack left for Appleloosa," Pinkie Pie said, waddling around. Everypony looked to her.

"Applejack's gone to Appleloosa?" Twilight said with some surprise. She then realized something and nodded to herself. "Oh, well I guess Braeburn lives there..."

"And Rainbow Dash too," Fluttershy added. Rarity raised an eyebrow.

"Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash lives in Ponyville," Rarity said with an awkward laugh. She looked up. "Or _above_ Ponyville, at any rate." Fluttershy shook her head vigorously.

"No, no. I meant, she went _with_ Rainbow Dash." Rarity blinked, swatting herself in the forehead.

"Ah...o-of course."

"I wonder why she wouldn't tell us?" Twilight said, surveying everypony. They all appeared rather clueless. "...But whatever her reason, I think we should go see her tomorrow, yeah?"

"By the looks of it, we were all going anyway," Rarity said. "And besides! There's no _guarantee_ that the Gold Rush has been canceled, hmm?"

"All righty! My dummy's gonna see more action tomorrow!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing away into town. "Kay'! So we're all meeting up here tomorrow! See ya!"

"...Dummy?" Twilight said, scratching her bangs as Rarity hurried after Pinkie, shouting something about being punctual and the time to meet up. Fluttershy breathed, apparently relieved.

"Whew...that works out much better!" Fluttershy said, flying away and waving goodbye to Twilight. As she went higher into the sky, Twilight noticed her suddenly drop in panic. She squealed something and increased her speed. "Wait! I left a thief at my house! Oh my...! Ahh...!" Twilight trotted back to the library with a backward glance at the train platform. None too eager to get home, she wondered just what everypony else had to take care of. It may have been a boring day, she thought, but at least she had something to look forward to now.

* * *

><p>"...So then I got so frustrated that I tried Rainbooming my house..." Applejack cringed as Dash recounted tale after tale of Pilfer's random burglaries. Things like the taste of Dash's breakfast, the hot water in her shower, and the clouds she was supposed to clear that day getting swiped would've normally raised a few eyebrows. Applejack had seen Pilfer's work firsthand, though, so she just nodded as Dash continued. "It was my last hope! The one thing I hadn't tried yet, and hey! I figured she'd be lookin' to steal my whole house sooner or later!"<p>

"Err...did it work...?" Applejack asked, peering out a window. Ponyville was long gone, replaced by a dry, desert landscape. Dash shook her head and sobbed.

"No! She stole it of course!" Applejack paused, looking back to Dash.

"...Yer house?"

"The Sonic Rainboom!" Dash pouted, massaging her temples and shivering. Applejack wondered just how she could be shivering, given the train car loaded with ponies only contributed to the blazing heat. "Said it was one of the most _awesome_ things she'd ever stolen...! Ergh...she is, without a doubt, the most _annoying thing_ in Equestria!"

"Uhh...ah'm real sorry for ya, Rainbow. But look at it this way," Applejack said, patting Dash on the shoulder. She looked up, into Applejack's face. "Now that yer gone fer a while, she'll prob'ly leave yer house alone. She's only there ta' bug _you_ anyway, right?" Dash scowled, looking around the orange and dull brown cabin. It was getting harder and harder to hear Applejack amongst the abounding chatter of concerned Appleloosans. "Reckon she'll just move on ta' somepony else, yeah?" Dash snickered, at last in better spirits. The rustic, homey feel of the train cabin may have been helping as well.

"Yeah, guess so...and when she stole the Rainboom, it __did__ kick her around a bit! Heh...said it was so fast she couldn't hold onto it for long!" Dash was grinning wickedly, but her eyes soon went wide with terror. "Huh? B-but that means nopony's watchin' my house! What if-"

"It gets stolen from?" Applejack said flatly. "Hasn't that happened already?" Dash coughed.

"...On second thought, you're right. I'd rather have any old thief barge in, now that I've had to deal with _her!_" Dash gave a hefty sigh. She looked to Applejack, who was barely managing to keep her eyes open. She had been listening in on other conversations with a somber expression. "Y'know, that's real good thinkin' Applejack! You've got lots of good thoughts lately!"

"Yeah, ah' wish..." Applejack said bitterly. Rainbow Dash blinked, and Applejack gave a forced chuckle, realizing her sulkiness. "A-ah' mean, yeah! Guess so..." Applejack shuffled her front hooves against the soft, feathery cushion she and Dash were lying on. They had been forced into a musty, flaking booth that nopony else would take. Dash couldn't place why, but the blackened, stained cushion covering the seat had a very comfortable feel to it.

Dash's ears twitched, perking up. Appleloosans old and young chattered restlessly.

"Hopin' we get there in time! Said he couldn't hold out much longer..."

"D'ya...d'ya think mommy's all right...?"

"Everypony else's lost their minds, and she writes back sayin' ah' should relax an' have a good time? Land sakes! What's that filly thinkin'?"

"Sounds like Braeburn ain't the worst off..." Applejack murmured, nudging Rainbow Dash. She pillowed her head against Dash's shoulder, her eyes closed. Dash smiled awkwardly, struggling to keep her wings down.

"Erm...y-yeah...?" Dash blubbered. The heat around her intensified, but for some reason it was strongest around her face. Her cheeks, specifically. "Heh...b-but don't worry! Jeez, Applejack! What's gotten into you?" She thought to herself. __"Dash, what's gotten into __you?__"__

"I dunno. Jus' worried, is all. But yer right..." Applejack said, pressing her body closer to Rainbow's. She didn't even know Dash was clenching her teeth, stammering heavily. The humidity and commotion had drained Applejack of her stamina and senses. She yawned, taking off her hat and placing it in front of her. "No sense worryin'. Thanks Rainbow..." Applejack's voice was very weak with those last few words. The hanging warmth proved too much for her, and she drifted off to sleep.

"No prob..." Dash said, wishing that she could just fall asleep that easily. She looked down at the snoozing Applejack squished against her side. The total relaxation was strong, but the urge to reach out was even stronger. Always fiery, always ready to fly, always raring to go, this placidity was something unheard of to Dash. And yet, she felt it now. But why? She wondered this, deep in thought as the dark orange sun dipped down below the horizon. __"No sense worrying, Dash. It's nothing...you're just tired! That's all it is! That thief's tuckered you out. That's all it is..."__


End file.
